Hello, I'm Emily
Recently my siblings and I went through the dreaded process of watching both of our parents' health decline and saying goodbye to them. This involved so many challenges as at different times they needed care and attention every day. They both loved being at home and didn't want to have to go to a facility, but it was very demanding on all of us who have busy lives with careers and kids to manage all of the needs that come with ALS and dementia. When we finally found live-in help that didn't burn through our parents' savings, it reduced a burden as well as guilt to an already stressful time. In our initial searches we found around the clock care costing $24k/ month on average which was cost prohibitive for us. The organizations also said it would be multiple people doing shifts and we felt this could be confusing to our already confused mom. Eventually we found an option that was a fraction of the cost for $250/ day ($7,500/ month) and we were able to pay the care givers directly so there was full transparency. I thought I could try to help link these sweet caring spirits with other families like ours who are going through this really sad and hard time of watching loved ones decline. The caregivers that served my mom demonstrated so much patience, professionalism, and consistency with the daily needs. Towards the end when my mom couldn't talk she seemed to communicate in her own way, a deep appreciation and feeling of safety and comfort with her care providers. I am forever grateful for that.
I'm a mom of 3 and live in Utah. I grew up in Pennsylvania. I love being outside playing in the mountains and oceans. I am in the process of going back to school at the college of social work and gerontology at Weber State for a Master's in Social Work. I have worked in mental health and life coaching / mentoring roles for over 20 years. The last 10 have been with young adults and now I am interested in supporting the needs of middle aged and older adults as well. I always thought I'd take care of my parents when they got old, but so many things made that difficult. One major factor was that I live in Utah and they lived in Pennsylvania. I considered relocating for a summer and knew this would be noble, but also quite complicated with the kids and their dad. My siblings did such a good job taking turns, but in the end it was a big strain for them and their families. With in-home care we were able to keep our parents' wishes of being in the comfort of home and also carry on with our lives. Typing that feels sort of cold, and I'm sorry I couldn't do more. I believe they are on the other side now and understand that we all do our best and sometimes its great and sometimes we miss the mark. If any of you reading this are struggling with these choices, do reach out. I have life coaching services available too and depending on the circumstance some respite care options. Coincidentally (or not) while typing this my sister just sent this photo of our family home with a rainbow. Sounds silly, but that makes me feel a little sense of approval from somewhere for trying to help others going through this.
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